Witches and Scroungers

Oh my God! Another beautiful morning and I’ve enjoyed some coffee and a crafty cigarette on the balcony after making breakfast for B and perving at him when he got dressed. I have so much lined up for today and feel really fired up – I know I’m obnoxious, but I am so ridiculously happy I don’t know what to do with myself. I suppose that’s what happens when you hit one of those times in life when everything just comes together. 

My might-be-agent (if I keep on producing the stuff she’s demanding) tells me she really believes in Alice, and that is the best news my struggling-writer-ears could ever hope to hear. It’s a long-ish road of course, many edits and frustrations ahead, but this is IT! 

My dream situation would be to take care of B. I don’t write for fame or glory, but if I end up making a stack of cash, that’d be very nice, ta very much. But I would absolutely love to be the one to look after him. He’s spent half his life working his nuts off, has a great career as a result, but never been thanked for it. Witchface, apparently (so let’s assume APPARENTLY as this B telling me, not the wicked witch herself) resented him for working long hours, being away a lot, but had no problem reaping the rewards. I mean…. WTF. But then, nothing surprises me anymore. 

What I’d love more than anything, would be to take care of B, love him stupid (although, that, I already do – he has to literally peel me off him when he’s off to work) and support him. Perhaps he’d like to do something entrepreneurial. I’d love to be able to say to him to quit his job and pursue something new and exciting, even if that new and exciting thing might not bring in any money at first (or ever). He deserves it more than anyone I know, after being taken for a ride up until two years ago. 

I’m sure Witchface has many good qualities, and who knows, if I’d crossed paths with her in any other scenario, I’m sure I would have even liked her. Having said that, maybe that’s unlikely, she and I probably wouldn’t – in a different scenario – hit it off, because I just don’t understand people like that. 

Maybe it’s a cultural thing. I was brought up to make my own way. Scrounging and free loading, whether it be off another person or the state (unless you have to – i.e. cannot find work despite trying hard, or you are too ill to work), was something ugly. So it’s very difficult for me to relate to this woman. I don’t look down on people who choose to be housewives or people who have to claim benefits – I look down on people who feel it’s their RIGHT, and who (like Witchface) REFUSE to carry their own weight when they could do so at least to a small extent. 

And I want to, believe me! Since I met B, I have defended her, tried to put myself in her shoes and instead of getting annoyed I’ve tried to be sympathetic and attempted to see where she might be coming from. But there are only so many times you can go “perhaps she doesn’t understand what she’s doing” before you realise that this isn’t someone who’s just a bit simple (she won’t be joining Mensa any day soon, that I can tell you, but I’m not going to hold stupidity against anyone, she can’t help that), but on a vendetta.

It’s been farcical.

She does have a condition that affects her appearance, which I feel really sorry for her for. That must be incredibly difficult. I think for that reason, it took me all the way to just a few months ago to finally realise that what everyone else was saying about her must be closer to the truth. I tried to see her perspective right until the moment I was forced to give up. 

Pure farce.

Claims she cannot work in any way, shape or form. Yet seems to refuse looking into benefits or insurance that may help her out. Why? She seems to feel that’s below her. So, if it’s below her, how will she get by? I know! B will pay! And he just doesn’t pay, he is currently giving her the equivalent of what you’d have net if you’re on a £70k salary. Over three times the average salary, but that is NOT enough.

Isn’t meant to drive because of her condition but HAS TO HAVE a car. Uhm, but if you can drive, there’s work you can do. What? No way! 

Claims she needs a huge house and can live independently, then in the next breath lists the staff she needs: a dog sitter, dog walker, gardener, cleaner, handy man, window cleaner and who knows what else. How she even manages to wipe her own backside amazes me, but perhaps she listed someone for that too. Lazy and greedy to the point it makes me feel ill. If she needs all those people to live “independently” she needs to 1) look up ‘independently’ in the dictionary, and 2) be placed in a care home. God knows where the sense of entitlement comes from, but it does seem to be in line with benefit cheats, those people who feel the world owes them something. Free loading in the extreme.

B moved out, and consider that the basic starting point is to split assets 50-50. She is still in the marital home (dragging this out for as long as possible) with all their furniture etc. B asked for a few pieces that are special to him. Sure he could have them – IF HE PAID FOR THEM. If he paid for them AGAIN. This was one of those moments when we pretty much wet ourselves laughing, it was just so absurd. But wait, it gets better. Or worse, depending on whether you consider this comedy or tragedy (it’s a mixture of both, to be fair – Witchface’s unique blend of stupidity and viciousness is a fascinating phenomenom). Those pieces weren’t in the house! People from B’s work called us in bewilderment. B proceeded to ask what on earth had got into her, why she had decided to con him. “I needed the money”, was the flat reply, and why was he making such a big deal out of being lied to and conned out of money? Relaaaaaax! 

He questions why she lies to and effectively steals from him. Bang! Via her solicitor she threatens with an injunction. That was the moment I gave up hoping that Witchface would eventually come to her senses. It was such a disgusting thing to do, I just lost faith in humanity at that point. B has looked after her for nearly two years following him leaving way over and beyond what he in actual fact has to (never mind the previous 20+) and this is what he gets? It makes me feel so, so sad. 

She drags out the divorce, pushing it to court when there’s been absolutely no point in doing so. Then along comes the court date, and despite being well enough to go out drinking a few weeks before at their son’s graduation, she scrambles at the last minute for a doctor’s note and they try to adjourn. Insurance claim forms dated late last year are lodged at the last minute, absolutely pathetic – she has deliberately dragged it all out, and God knows for what reason. Cutting her nose off to spite her face, springs to mind. Nutter.

She refuses generous offers, and then of course this whole charade refusing to communicate directly, meaning the legal fees have now reached staggering levels. And then she asks – via her solicitor – for more money. As if. Had she acted with only a scrap of decency, there’d be thousands of pounds not wasted and B might have been more inclined to help out here and there. If she weren’t so dense, it might just occur to her that by wasting all this money only communicating via solicitors….. Oh well, I’m wasting my breath. 

It’s mind boggling, and I’ve given up trying to understand what goes on in a scrounger’s mind, be it Witchface or White Dee. 

I walked away from everything. I took my clothes, books and anything that was exclusively mine, plus half of Monkey’s clothes/toys. Everything else my ex-husband got to keep. Trust me, he was laughing. I asked to have our gorgeous house signed over to him. Why? Didn’t I want to live there? Sure I did, and that would have been lovely, but he earned more money than I did back then, and I couldn’t have afforded the mortgage and bills on my own. The idea of staying and making HIM pay for ME didn’t even occur to me. It wasn’t on the radar, so it’s both terrifying and fascinating to witness Witchface’s antics. A very scary circus.

I wish I could make her see what she has in her life, that would be so rich if only she stopped for a moment to feel a little gratitude. She has two beautiful children who are smart and talented and will no doubt do well in life, and they are that way because she and B brought them up. I have no doubt that she’s a wonderful mother, the proof’s in the pudding. I get that her illness must be awful, but it’s not like she’s bed ridden. I wish I could make her see and feel that wonderful feeling of accomplishment and pride when you have worked for your pay cheque, no matter how small. And I wish she could recognise that even though her marriage fell apart, she has an ex-husband who is a decent man, and wants to see her looked after and what she’s actually getting is a massive amount of money. 

When, like Witchface, you are driven by greed and anger, feeling short changed and wrong done by, feeling the world owes you something, life eventually starts to take that shape. So I can imagine her life is pretty shit. It can’t be nice to be motivated by bitterness, spite and hatred. If only she knew how easy it’d be to change that around. And ironically, I’d probably be the first person to applaud her, if she ever found it within herself to approach life and the people in it with love and gratitude, and maybe that tiiiiiiny bit of dignity, because this is painful to witness and she’s only humiliating herself. Greed and hatred must be very tiring. 

And on that note, I’m going to go and sit on the balcony in the morning sunshine with another coffee, close my eyes for a moment and focus on how rich my life is, and how grateful I am that I’m not wired like Witchface. I feel so sorry for her, I wish I could wave a magic wand over her and make it all better. If I ever won the lottery, I’d set both her and my ex-husband up. Spreading a little goodness only triggers the same in return, a lesson Witchface would do well to learn. 


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