Chairs and Little Italian Muffins

Monkey’s in a mood today, one of those sulky ones where nothing – NOTHING – is good enough. He started out his usual sunny self, but then whoosh! First he was bored. This was code for not being able to go on the Xbox for over an hour when B and I wanted to watch the X-Factor from last night. After that, he was bored again. This was code for having to wait for B and I to come out to the garden for a kick-around. Once out, he was once again bored. This was code for having to include the neighbour’s kids when he in fact wanted his two slaves to himself. I’m not going to comment on where his moods come from, but it’s something I’m hoping will remain very occasional and not become too frequent. You can’t expect anyone to be all rainbows and ponies all of the time, so as long as it doesn’t creep in further I won’t worry. I’ll keep an eye though.

Gosh, the X-Factor! B and I wet ourselves laughing at this Stevie dude’s first audition, it was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life – forgot all the words, just kept dancing along, adding “goes on forever, dunnit” and the best thing of all was how he’s cheese personified but seems to be equipped with self awareness, so takes the piss out of himself and comes across as humble. I like that a lot, even though he doesn’t have a patch on the other contestants vying for Simon’s chairs. I like Stevie because he takes the piss out of himself a bit and he doesn’t rate himself. Nothing wrong with rating yourself of course, but there’s a fine line between being confident and being a complete twat. Stevie gets my approval, despite not necessarily being someone whose records I’d buy. He comes across as a good bloke though, so I don’t mind as much that he’s taken a chair that someone with a better voice/talent now will miss out on. Good on him.

There’s always one you hate. This time it’s a horse faced chick whose voice is the equivalent of swinging a bag of cats against a wall, and she lacks that one quality that has saved cheesy Stevie: humbleness. She seems to think she’s the next big thing, confidence that is way bigger than any talent, of which she has none in my view. For me, it’s a case of an off-putting personality coupled with a voice that’s like a rusty scalpel. The rest I’ve pretty much forgotten all about, except the little Italian muffin, think he’s called Andrea.

What a lovely little soul! Came on, his accent pronounced and he was kind of like a Mediterranean version of Borat. I hate the fact that I judged a book by its cover, but I first thought I’d be cringing, because he came across as a little ….bumbling. But then he started to sing and it was magical, and I – along with the rest of all who saw and heard it presumably – realised that what I’d mistaken for goofy and a bit clueless, was actually a little soul so beautifully pure it tugged at my heart strings in a massive way.

Of course he got one of Scary’s chairs – he’s better than the rest of the finalists put together. All sincere gratitude for standing in that spot and taking on a Whitney Houston song, and there was nothing cocky in his voice when he explained the lyrics were about him and how he’s learnt he can be strong.

No doubt about where I’ll be placing my vote every Saturday until Christmas. If he doesn’t go through at judges’ houses, I’ll refuse to watch it. Just like I’ll refuse to watch it if that awful horse faced mess with the screetchy voice goes through. Not that anyone in their right mind would vote for her.

The little Italian muffin reminded me a little of that guy from a few years ago, what’s-his-name Jahmaine or something. Quietly spoken and unassuming, then started to sing and you just ended up wondering where that incredible voice came from. I like stuff like that, when really great stuff happens to people who truly deserve it and don’t take it for granted, people who have it within them to feel gratitude. The Law of Attraction – I truly believe in it. Feel joy and gratitude (even if it’s just because you’re alive in the first place) and you’ll attract more good stuff. Never fails.

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