Thank God for that! Monkey is back with us today! I hate being without my little man – curtesy of failing to keep my marriage intact due to an inability to pick the right man to marry the first time around – but this is the best set-up for him and his needs come first. Gosh, I would have loved to have gone with what the courts awarded me, namely ‘residence’ and only having to ‘let’ my Ex have ‘access’. No way in hell was that EVER an option. Monkey has two parents who both fall over themselves to love him stupid and provide him with everything he needs, and I don’t think it’s my right just because I happen to be his mother to wreck his life by denying him equal time with his other parent too. Doesn’t get any easier, but I know he has two happy and loving homes and that’s all that matters.
After our random Sweden weekend, we have no plans for this weekend. I’ve tried to find a babysitter as I want to take B to the cinema to see Gone Girl, but can’t seem to find anyone, so I suspect we’ll just do what we end up doing on those rare weekends when we find ourselves at a loose end – just cosy up at home, cook something, drink something, just spending time together. My morning pages today are just like yesterday actually afternoon pages – today was one of those days when I ended up finding a million things to do other than writing, but I’ve learnt not to think of any day as wasted and feel good about it. Went for a long walk around the bridges at lunch time and planned out some more of Alice. Amazing what a little larder that smells of berries can do for your inspiration.
Now all I need is for B to get home, he’s left work a little early – texted me to say he missed me and just wanted to see me (pinch me, someone!) so he should be here any minute, this dream boat of mine. He suggested he’ll cook, but I already have it planned and have the chilli and garlic at the ready, so he’ll no doubt be wiping sweat off his brow eating tonight’s fiery concoction. He’s learning Swedish (pinch me again, someone!) and is getting all obsessed with all things Swedish. Texted me with a list of Swedish films, asking me to take a pick for this evening. I mean….. WTF. How the hell is this man REAL?
I would have been quite happy to settle for this best friend of mine, who is so intelligent, sweet and interesting I could spend 24/7 just listening to him, who is so hot I get a little breathless looking at him and so loving I feel like a queen. That would have been enough to declare myself the luckiest woman on the planet, but then he goes and makes a huge effort to learn my native language and takes a feet first plunge into everything to do with my heritage, culture and background too. PINCH ME! Perhaps I need to learn the Haka. After all, B’s rendition of ‘Helan Går’ is pitch perfect and I’m lagging behind.
Had an amazingly fun evening with B and V last night, and most of today I’ve had the hangover to show for it. Had countless spritzers, but at least we had something to eat this time so I’m not feeling as rough as I might have.
OK, fucking pinch me a thousand times over – the most wonderful man on the planet turned up and handed me a bunch of roses. No wonder my mum has given me strict instructions to look after him – this is a man you hold on to and do right by. So now there’s a lovely weekend ahead and I can’t wait to enjoy my Friday evening with the two men in my life. …although Monkey did NOT take well to the Tottenham umbrella B had put on his bed as a joke present – the Chimp’s an Arsenal supporter. He was on the Xbox and had a couple of his friends on the line and was chattering away going “you won’t BELIEVE what my stepdad got me” in shock at the Tottenham paraphernalia.
Monkey loves B. The first time they met, Monkey asked him straight up if he was going to move in with us. I’d been single for six years after the divorce, so I think he was keen to pair me up, but more so because Monkey – just like I did – fell in love with B at pretty much first sight. The fact that B took him and one of his friends to Emirates possibly swayed him a little, but still.