Columbine and Ironing

Last night I had the following dreams:

  1. I was for some crazy reason suddenly part of some messed up American family, and the two sons (unfortunately for me in the dream, these were my brothers) were going to blow up their school and murder lots of people Columbine style. The whole dream was me plotting to get away and alert the police, but my evil dream family kept close tabs on me. There was an imminent disaster and I needed to stop it but was struggling to, as well fretting over how to disassociate myself from these unfortunate family ties.
  2. Then I was having lunch with R, who promptly informed me that we had to stop our sessions and I walked off fighting back the tears.
  3. Next up, it was my sister and her uni friends, who had all figured out how to move around using some super natural powers – they were basically floating around and looked like something out of Twilight. Well, my sister is a dead ringer for Kristen Stewart, so figures.
  4. Then there was something about being at my mum’s – only it wasn’t my mum’s. She decided to take a nap (I’ve never known her to take a nap) in the room where I was writing, which was annoying.
  5. I also dreamt something about me and my sister comparing insect bites on our ears?!
  6. Lastly, I went back to light sleep after we pressed snooze the first time and jerked myself awake after dreaming that B and I stood on the edge of the balcony (I’m terrified of heights).

Now, I have no idea what all this means. Last night’s dreams were no stranger or more extreme than they usually are. Don’t ask me why I dream about having brothers who aspire to be like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold – which is not the case in real life, if I were to grab some American examples I’d say they’re more like the guys in friends the three of them. As in the characters, not the actors (and I understand Matthew Perry is an alcoholic, none of my brothers are addicts as far as I’m aware). So I can’t even begin to interpret that one. Is there something going on that’s out of my control that I’m worried about? No. Everything is wonderful.

freud

The other dreams I can’t work out either. My mum hogging my room? Would that be code for feeling crowded? I don’t. So I have no clue what – if anything – my dreams might mean. Perhaps I’m keen to get this week started and it was my almost-Monday brain that was eager and anxious to grab this week by its horns. I do need to get a whole bunch of things done. Last week was so chaotic coming back from Sweden on the Tuesday, then a busy Thursday, meaning I only really had Wednesday and Friday. Now I have five solid days to get back into my routine again.

To do list:

  1. Plug away at the synopsis until it’s as good as I can get it.
  2. Polish the first 50 pages until I’m happy they’re tight.
  3. Finish off the flashback chapter and the one about the larder that smells of berries.
  4. HUGE pile of ironing.
  5. Apartment needs a going over.

That’ll keep me busy…

B has a bit of a nightmare week with lots of budget meetings, so I’m going to kick into high gear and make sure he comes back to a lovely home every day – I’m going to spoil him rotten and take care of him. He’s usually really good at handling stress, not once have I ever felt he’s been grouchy towards me – not even when he himself reckons he has. Well, I’m like my dad, it usually just pours off me like water off a duck’s back. Another good thing about being a positive being – the negative stuff turns into vapour pretty quickly for me. I swear to God, even when all I could afford was a one-bedroom flat for myself and my then toddler son, it wasn’t the cracks in the walls or how cramped it was that I noticed – what I saw was something I was proud of, because it was mine and I needed no one and nothing else to get it for me.

So anyway – here’s to an amazing week!

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