Amphetamine and Blessings

November – really? Really, really?! Maybe it’s because I’m having so much fun that time flies? Whatever the reason, I do feel like time doesn’t just catch up with me but also ends up overtaking me before I’ve even had a moment to adjust my rearview mirror. It’s all good, but gosh, do the days, weeks, months and even years seem to be on amphetamine.

So. I’m 38 and headed for 39 in the new year. How did that happen? I was 28 just five minutes ago, for God’s sake. Monkey is about to turn ten – TEN!!!! – in just five days. And everything else? I can honestly say that life has never been better. I’ve always been very happy and content, but now it’s just silly really. I keep thinking it must be abnormal in some way to be this blissfully happy, like I’m stealing the good fortune that actually belongs to someone else or something. Nah, not going to think like that at all – good things happen to good people, and although I never lose sight of how fortunate I am, I won’t allow myself to think for even a second that I shouldn’t be. Life is for living right NOW and I’m savouring every little moment.

So let’s enjoy this very moment, let’s count my blessings..

Outside the window, London is presenting us with yet another beautiful and sunny autumn day and from the kitchen I can smell a faint scent of the coffee brewing, the coffee is making those gurgling noises that indicate that the last of the water has almost trickled through. The menfolk are going about their morning grooming routines, B and P showered already and dad’s in there now. Monkey’s at his dad’s now, so no Chimp chattering away, but I know he’s happy as his dad’s taking him and a couple of friends to Chessington for an early birthday treat. B and P are having a conversation but I can’t tell what it’s about, can only hear their muted voices as I’ve closed the door to the bedroom whilst I write these morning pages.

So, several of the people that I love the most with me and in store no doubt another brilliant day. Yesterday was a blast and today we’re heading into town. No firm plans, but will probably head for a stroll along the south bank before heading in to Covent Garden or something for lunch. This evening we’re taking dad and P to a kiwi pub on the river in Hammersmith. It’s not far from here and we’ve gone there several times before, usually when there’s an All Blacks game, which is the case tonight. P is really into sports and is keen to learn more (rugby isn’t big in Sweden, we’re more of an ice hockey and football kind of species) and dad’s happy so long as he’s in our company and offered the occasional beer and whiskey.

Oh God, the hurricane that is my father is in the kitchen now, I can hear him. He just can’t keep still, always has to be doing something. It’s just gone 8am and he’s probably dying to have some breakfast. Just shouted to him to leave the coffee until it’s brewed through completely. I’m going to make them a full English again this morning with B as my obedient kitchen slave assistant.

I keep wondering about Thursday’s conversation with dad. It was just so unlike him to ask about my writing as opposed to any pay cheques. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that it was B who prompted him as he knows how dad’s my idol and how much it would mean to have him interested in this one thing I care about so much. Prompted or otherwise, makes no difference though. It meant the world to me. And if it was indeed B who nudged dad a little in that direction, it just means I love him even more because of it, even though loving B more than I already do can’t be possible.

It’s actually difficult to write today – I’m getting a little sick of myself being so obnoxiously content. It’s not often that I’m feeling down, but writing comes more easily when I am, which is very strange. Especially Alice, which is quite dark in many places, is easier to really get into when I’m feeling a little melancholy.

Oh, and that’s the other thing November holds – I’m aiming to have the first draft written by the end of the month. An ambitious target, but I’m going to give it my best shot. No time like the present and I’m trying to keep this question at the forefront of my mind:

In a year from now, what will I wish I’d done today?


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