Bank Statements and Happiness

So I sit here by my computer, my honey next to me checking his e-mails and going through bank statements. Then he discovers that this horrendous person also known as his soon-to-be ex-wife has plundered an account that he subsequently has to fill up. His shoulders slumped, all energy left him, and all I could do was witness this beautiful person close his eyes, then rub them as his lower lip started to tremble. I went and sat on his lap, tried to hold all this pain and absorb it from him much in the same way that I want to absorb any pain my young son might feel, yet failing to do so as it overwhelmed him. He gently sobbed into my neck as my heart broke.

Once again, he uttered those words I have come to fear so much: “I can’t take anymore.

I whispered into his ear how much I love him, how this will all be over soon and how things will seem better tomorrow.

Don’t text her,” I advised, rightly or wrongly.

He went ahead, and to be fair he probably texted something a lot less angry than what I might have, if I had this devil woman’s number. Having said that, if I had her number, what I would have texted her would be this this:

STOP! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOU GO SHORT, NOT EVEN ME – IN FACT I, TOO, WANT TO SEE YOU LOOKED AFTER, FAIRLY TREATED AND WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU FIND HAPPINESS. THAT IS MY CHRISTMAS WISH FOR YOU: PEACE, LOVE AND HAPPINESS. NOW GO AWAY!!!!

Oh, I know – I’m a mean person. But I can’t witness this anymore. I can’t bear to see someone as decent, generous and kind as B get this treatment. It’s disgusting in the extreme. Yes, I do want all good things for her, but at the same time my sympathy (which remained for a long time) is well and truly exhausted and I don’t have any more to offer in that direction. I just want her gone and out of our lives just as B does.

This evening I am filling a balloon with all this anger I feel. I am going to release it and watch it float off into the cold winter’s sky with a sense of relief and satisfaction, knowing that this crap will never EVER dampen my existence. If I believed in Karma, I’d be safe in the knowledge she will come back in her next life, no doubt, as a heamorrhoid. Good luck to her, but even now I don’t think it’s too late to change the course of this runaway train.

Right. All sworn out and vented, now I’ll go back to love and light, appreciating my life and what is in it. She’s not and no doubt she hates what I now have, this person she is trying so hard (but failing) to destroy.

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