Hitler and Lucifer

You’ll need a glass of wine reading it,” B warned me when he called me.

He is the very definition of calm and composure, yet B was so upset his voice was unsteady when he rang me, deeper and coarser than usual and immediately my heart started to ache. He was forwarding me his ex-wife’s submissions to the Court, telling me it was the worst thing he’d read in all his life and how he just couldn’t believe the contents of it.

Well. We’ve seen plenty of this vicious woman over these past two years, and each time she’s done something terrible I’ve found myself thinking “OK, but surely NOW she can’t stoop any lower, this HAS GOT to be the worst and now it’ll get better”. I was out walking Bertie the Labradoodle, and even though my heart had sunk and ached listening to B through my mobile that my frozen non-glove-clad hand clasped to my ear in the icy February winds, I felt quite calm and together, thinking I’d seen worse from her. I knew it’d be bad, but I genuinely thought it wouldn’t be any worse than other mindboggling stunts she’s pulled. No, there was no way she’d shock me anymore.

Back home, I sat down on the sofa, laptop on my knee and located B’s forwarded e-mail.

Now, I am a bookworm. I also have a morbid fascination with all things evil, and on my bookshelves you can find numerous books ranging from ‘The Stranger Beside Me’ about Ted Bundy to ‘The Lucifer Effect’ about good people turning bad. I’m also very interested in Psychology and in particular disorders like psychopathy and the like, and beyond that in the field in general and how people come to act and behave the way they do.

In short – I have read Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler, but the words now unfolding in front of me on the screen horrified me more.

It was the most dishonest, disgusting and despicable thing my eyes have ever scanned over. It physically made me feel ill, that sickening knot in my stomach that I equate with some of the worst traumas I’ve gone through in the past. Most of it was fantasy, a lot of it was cruel and some of it was the stuff of nightmares. I just pray that no Judge could ever look at this and think it fair. It’s just so beyond the pale that I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep without the lights off ever again.

Going back to my interest in Psychology, it makes me wonder what makes this woman tick. It makes me wonder what it must be like to be so consumed with hatred and greed that you will stop at nothing, absolutely nothing, to destroy the person who has financially carried you through life (without as much as a ‘thank you’) and even after leaving has been paying an eye-watering amount of money to ensure your wellbeing. It makes my chin hit the floor every time. Had she not caused all this mess, the money that has now been wasted could instead have seen both their sons comfortably through university. But she won’t even stop there. Not even for her own sons. Some people should be stripped of the ‘mother’ title.

And now what? Where has this got her? All this needless cruelty, greed and nastiness? Nowhere, that’s where. She will end up with what B offered all along. All she has achieved is a whole lot of hurt. And trust me, this time no one will be shielding anyone from the truth. How she’ll be able to look anyone in the eye now is a mystery, let alone how she’ll be able to face herself and what she’s done. She probably thinks it’s just her and B who know the full extent. That is no longer true, and no one is prepared to be silent anymore.

B, quite rightly, lost his cool – one of only a couple of occasions when I’ve seen him crumble under the horrid weight of this “woman” who has been hanging like a stone around his neck for so long. He fired off an e-mail, in which he swore at her.

You don’t think I should have?” he asked, sounding tired and worn down.

Argue with an idiot and they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience,” I told him earnestly and sighed.

I would have gone nuts too. The injustice of all this is just staggering, and I don’t know if I would have been able to hold back. I doubt it. But sure enough, this “woman” is beyond any point where anyone might be able to reason with her. I have no doubt that there’ll be some awful comeback to his angry e-mail. Like the time he asked her why she’d conned him back in May of last year (oh yes, another terrifying stunt on her part that at the time had me, B and both our families all gasping for air) and back came a threat of a Court Injunction.

I rest my case.

3 Feb 2015 pic


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