Although I have been working my arse off trying to write the novel, I have missed going to work. I’ve had a really hard time focusing on how this is valid, as life long values instilled in me by my hard working parents from day one have tortured me. It has been really difficult to feel accomplished when no money to speak of is yet coming in, and even though I know it will pay off, it’s making me feel quite useless not bringing in a regular pay cheque. So, starting the lovely part time role I interviewed for on Monday is something I’m really looking forward to. Oh, yes, I got it! And I am really delighted, as it ticks all of the boxes.
It also brings more routine back into my life and I am a fan of structure. Sure, I look back on the past six months and feel happy at what I’ve achieved, but I can’t deny that even just an hour or two not doing something that’ll in some way in my own harsh eyes is ‘valid’ has really got to me. Now that feeling will be no more! It’s easier to take a break if you feel you contribute, and ironing B’s shirts and doing all the housework just doesn’t cut it for me, when he is working his very delicious bottom off to carry the financial load. To me, it feels like freeloading and it’s not something that sits easy with me.
The wicked witch is – despite the pack of lies and bollocks submitted by her to the Court – soon a thing of the past that we can just think of as an unfortunate added tax, and now our lives can really begin! Just the thought is enough to make me feel fired up and creative again. I didn’t actually realise until now how much her evil presence has drained everyone. I did have some wine yesterday, as advised by B when he forwarded me her latest shit storm, so my head is a little sore today, but hey-ho! I may feel sluggish right now, but life is finally about to go from amazing to totally kick-ass!