Life could be worse, I guess. I can call the most amazing kid on the planet my own as well as having B’s sons in my life (both of whom I absolutely adore and am so grateful for), I have the most amazing partner anyone could ever only dream of (the fact that he’s fkn HOT doesn’t hurt either, to be fair – those pins alone are worth dying for), a crazy pug lady called Hendrix who wants to be on my lap all the time (and indeed she is as I write this, along with the chapter I just wrote), friends and family second to none and a job I love in addition to getting on with the writing, which is going overwhelmingly well too. Nope, I have no complaints.
It’s a Tuesday evening and B’s at some business seminar about innovation. It’s just me and Hendrix here and I’m missing B, just like I miss him any time we’re not glued to each other. Oh, and I mean GLUED. I go to sleep with us tangled up, quite often nose-to-nose and legs around each other, and I wake up that way, in B’s arms and his leg over me or mine over or around him. Hah! Before him, I HATED that! I couldn’t stand not sleeping alone or having my own space. Get out! Now, I sleep badly if he isn’t literally ON me. See? Meant for each other and meant to be.
I’m coming down with something though and pretty sure I’m running a fever – my sinuses are aching, my head hurts, my nose keeps running and my eyes are stinging, I’m shivering one minute and feeling too hot the next. Me thinks a hot bath, a vitamin C fizzy drink and then bed. B should be home by 9pm or so, but I doubt I’ll stay up, I do feel absolutely rotten.
Despite all of that, I’m feeling so happy and so grateful right now, even though my son’s with his Dad until Friday and that’s as painful as it’s always been every single time since I left the ex nine years ago. Oh well, as long as Monkey gets to have both his parents, then who am I to complain? He needs his Dad as much as his Mum, so if I have to suffer then I’ll bear it. The future is looking ever so bright now, after two years of having to endure B’s awful divorce. Finally we can move on, not many ties to cut now, just a matter of a signature and we can put it all behind us. Time to build, even though B’s been scraped bare to the bone. We’ll make it work and we’ll make it happen. I just know – KNOW! – that it’ll all happen now. The only way is up!
Time to finally look forward and only appreciate the beautiful future ahead, without bitter and vindictive individuals dampening our lives. It’s all so good! Out with the old, in with the new and wonderful!
This – THIS! – is when the tide turns! I, for one, am feeling elated! No one can touch us anymore, no more greedy, vicious people can demand shit they’re not entitled to anymore, and no one else but us can dictate our future.
…..a future that is looking increasingly awesome.