Sunshine and laughter lines

This is what I have dreaded for a couple of months now – B left last night for Hong Kong and this will be the longest we have ever been apart, ten days in total. Luckily, gloom isn’t something that comes naturally for me, or perhaps it’s because I got through last night less painfully than I expected that I feel quite positive this morning. The beautiful weather probably helps too, sunshine and cold, crisp air is west London’s most beautiful outfit and as usual when I tootled along Teddington High Street, through Twickenham and St Margarets to work in Richmond, I couldn’t help but feel so grateful to be living where I live, even if it happens to be that I’m flying solo this week. It is really just a matter of four nights that I am completely boyless: last night, tonight, Wednesday and Thursday. Tomorrow Monkey is back, then again on Friday for the duration of B’s trip, so I’m through a quarter of the crappier nights.

Tonight will be a shitter, definitely, so I’ll see if Tattoo Fixers can keep me entertained. There are enough episodes left to fill at least another couple of evenings. I do want a tattoo, as we’re on the subject – I have a rough idea but need to find a talented ink artist to design it. B is up for it too but not sure if we’re going to be cheesy enough to have matching ones. Perhaps not matching but two that somehow go together, linked in some way. Call it a midlife crisis but I figure a tattoo is much better than botox, and I enjoy having facial expressions along with laughter lines that are testament to a joyous ride.

Anyhoo! Gosh, not sure I can call myself a good writer with this insane tendency to waffle on and on and on like I do. Fine. I’ll just go with ‘writer’ plain and simple and let someone else add whatever adjective they deem me deserving of.

Tomorrow I should get the next batch of material for pewter thread sami bracelets, so when I think about it, it’s really just TODAY that’s icky. So then I’m through half! Oh fuck it, who am I kidding, nine more days without my soulmate and bestie sucks big style. But! I’ll make the best of a bad situation. My little Santa’s workshop will be very busy once I have the next delivery with 11 bracelets already on the waiting list – I may have had a bit of Sauvignon Blanc when I in a moment of bravery asked my family to hand over their wrist measurements. And of course, there are loads of them. Each one takes about an hour and I am usually able to get a couple done in one evening.

In each bracelet I put either a word or short phrase inside, simply written on the inside before I stitch it up, something loving or encouraging that I try to relate to the person I make it for. B’s says “loved”. Mine says “you are strong” because sometimes I have a little wobble and need reminding myself. I don’t always tell the bearer, it’s mostly just my secret little way of sending love and good luck. Obviously you can’t see the words and wouldn’t unless you rip the bracelet apart, so just a little bit of good energy hidden inside.

Another thing I intend to do when B’s away is hook my old laptop up to another screen (it’s completely buggered) so I can get all photos and files over to a hard drive. There are some gems on there, one of which is a Word document where I copied down the first ever messages B and I sent each other on the dating site we met via. Cannot wait to read those again! I think I also copied down B’s profile. I remember he’d put something about kissing being his favourite thing. He didn’t lie on that score. No other score either for that matter. Then of course the place needs a deep clean, but as usual that’s the one thing I intend to avoid until I absolutely have to do it.

Ah well. Feeling very lost without B, there is no denying it, but it’s a gorgeous day and I am taking them one at a time.


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