Holy crap – sometimes I think God gets pissed off with me for being too blessed (although you could argue that’s HIS flaw more than mine, no?) and takes the opportunity to give me heart palpitations.
I think I may have mentioned it before, but I shop like a skinny billionaire. I’m neither skinny, nor rich, but there we are. I decided I was due some treats so went on to one of my favourite websites, BrandAlley. That’s often where I stock up on my favourite denim brands as you often get discounts along the lines of 80% – can’t argue with that, right? – and I went on to finally get that Stella McCartney bag I’ve been lusting after for YEARS. No really, I’ve been in love with it for a very long time. So I went for it. There were other reasons and circumstances, but let’s just say I felt I deserved it. I also went for a diamond necklace that was reduced from £2,800 to just under £500 – I mean, if that’s not a bargain I don’t know what is. Extravagant, perhaps, but sometimes you’ve just got to live a little.
Turns out I didn’t love the necklace (Stella and I are very much in love though) and even at the reduced price I think you need to fall in love to even POSSIBLY be able to justify the cost. So I returned it. Heard nothing and called up a few weeks later to check they’d at least received it. Yes, they had. I was told the refund was being processed. Just over two weeks later it has still not been paid out to me so I rang up.
Suddenly they’re claiming that it’s not been marked as received by the warehouse and I head straight into major anxiety. It’s not like I can just throw £500 at someone just for the hell of it. I was put on hold for what felt like an eternity during which I felt so stressed I almost had a mini stroke. Finally another person comes on the line and apologises profusely. A mistake their end, all is well and good, and the refund will be paid out immediately. Peh-f*cken-phew.
In other news, I have now decided to go on a juice fast. Jesus fkn Christ, anyone reading this will think I’m rolling in it – which is NOT the case – but I’m getting hitched and so why not enjoy a few frivolous flights of fancy? Five days of fruit and vegetable juices only. I’m hopeful these will taste GOOD. The Master Cleanse, aka the urine of Satan, did NOT. Amazingly, B is still drinking the stuff and HE is the one who doesn’t much like the kick of chilli, or in this case, cayenne pepper. Still not fussed about weight but really keen to see if it really does you as much good as the reviews and sales blurbs claim. I’m half hoping I’ll emerge from the five days looking 10 years younger.